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'I'm getting my vocal cords tuned!'

DEFINITION: n. A non-threatening term to describe the procedure of cutting vocal cords on yappy dogs, which makes it sound like a good thing -- after all, they will never bark again. v. To remove the vocal chords.

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Verboticisms

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Softenbark

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: soff-n-bach

Sentence: Fideaux the puppy's awful barking would clash with his owner's piano practice. So he was off to the vet to softenbark.

Etymology: soften (make quieter) + bark (dog noise) + offenbach (musical composer)

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Woofediting

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: wuf - edet - ting

Sentence: Sparky was excited to go for woofediting. He thought it meant that he would emerge with a smooth, silky voice that would fit with his image....as a "Dog About Town".

Etymology: woof, editing

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Barkless

Created by: josje

Pronunciation: barkless

Sentence: doing this it leaves your dog barkless

Etymology: barking and less

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Frogmentation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: frôgmentāshən

Sentence: When anybody asked, Rudy told people that had undergone a vocal frogmentation. He felt that it sounded less extreme and less selfish then having the vocal cords of his yappy little dog cut.

Etymology: Frog [in the throat] (Temporary hoarseness caused by phlegm in the back of the throat) + augmentation (improvement)

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Disemhowl

Created by: toadstool57

Pronunciation: dis-em-howl

Sentence: Spot started studying sign language after hearing his master tell the vet Spot need to be disemhowled.

Etymology: disembowel/howl

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Petpax

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: pet/pax

Sentence: Annoying pet-speak disturbing your home life? Welcome to the 21st century puppy-love solution!! Petpax, the new non-invasive (to you the owner) surgery, guarantees to reduce pet chatter by 95%. Pets will be silently happy the way they were meant to be. (WARNING: may attract intruders and wet spots on the carpet - no assembly necessary)

Etymology: pet + pax (peace)

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Disembarking

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation:

Sentence: shep is much quieter sinc being disembarked, but every now and then he gets a rather worrying look on his face...

Etymology:

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COMMENTS:

very funny!! - Jabberwocky, 2007-01-31: 12:32:00

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Yapectomy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: yap ek tomee

Sentence: See Spot run. See Spot bark. Se Spot bark once too often, at anything. See Dick & Jane take Spot to Doctor Pepper for a yapectomy. See Spot run again. No see Spot bark again. See Dick & Jane get no more noise infraction tickets!

Etymology: Yap (yelp, bark) & Ectomy (removal, surgical excision of a part)

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Goldend

Created by: Buzzardbilly

Pronunciation: ˈgōl-dənd

Sentence: The vet goldend our dog, so we didn't get any warning barks when the burglars were coming.

Etymology: If silence is golden and you make something silent, wouldn't it be golden? Since the silence brings an end to the noise, wouldn't the procudure to rid the noisemaker of its noise-making abilities be a "gold end"? So, splicing "golden" and "end" makes "goldend."

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COMMENTS:

I have to add that the vet I used to work for refused to do the "de-barking" procedure (as they do call it) because the dogs still made noise and wore themselves out trying to bark. So, while my word fits the definition given, the procedure and its outcomes are at odds with the notion. - Buzzardbilly, 2009-08-31: 10:55:00

metrohumanx If it's cruel to "de-bark" a tree, how do our Canine-Americans feel about the procedure? - metrohumanx, 2009-09-01: 11:10:00

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Yippysnippy

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: yip-py-snip-py

Sentence: Owner: "Peanut, your incessant barking has kept me from sleep too often. It's time to go to the vet and see what can be done." Peanut: "Yippysnippy"

Etymology: wordplay on Yippy-Skippy -- a sarcastic answer to anything you have to do or something that doesn't sound fun. Also can be used when you don't give a damn about something and want to use sarcasm (Urban dictionary). Yip: the shrill bark of a small dog + Snip: to sever with a small cut or incision

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COMMENTS:

Skippy peanut butter... - Nosila, 2009-08-31: 13:23:00

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Comments:

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:00:00
Wow! Lot's of funny words today!

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 12:19:00
Hey, I'm winning! Ooops, I'm the only player in this group...

Discoveria - 2007-01-30: 15:28:00
Some rather 'surgical' ones too...

wordmeister - 2007-01-30: 17:09:00
Yes, I suppose we have a lot of doctors who are contributing...

mrskellyscl mrskellyscl - 2009-08-31: 08:07:00
This happened to a dog in our neighborhood. The kids call him "Horace."

Nosila - 2009-08-31: 13:21:00
My friend's spaniel had his tail cut...so he's now called Bob!

artr2 - 2012-06-08: 06:42:00
Didn't play this round because I couldn't find the humor in this cruel, self-centered practice. ArtR2